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As I near the end of my practicum in UPIS, I find it hard to believe that it’s been 3 months since I started teaching there. Everything seems to have just sped by: lesson planning, consultations with fellow teachers and students, various projects and activities and becoming more and more involved in UPIS life. It’s hard to imagine myself leaving. And leaving soon. I try not to think about it yet, choosing instead to enjoy the remaining time I have with everyone. The coming Periodic Exams make me feel that surely, I would be around for the next two ones… even though I know that I only have this quarter left to teach them. I have come to love both classes entrusted to me by my Cooperating Teacher, Ma’am Lourdes Vargas, and her too. Even though there are times when I sigh and wish certain students would do better, I must admit that as a class, I couldn’t ask for more from them and neither could I wish for a better Cooperating Teacher. What I find myself wishing for is more time with them. One semester isn’t enough, no matter how much I learned from them all. I know there is more to learn, of course. And a part of me wants to continue learning here.

I had been told to expect the worst from practicum, given the workload and the way students used to being passed from practicumer to practicumer sometimes contrive to make their lives miserable. Instead, I ended up having the best time in UPIS. This is why I find it hard to think of a low moment during my stay here. Even if my day seems to be not-so-good, it easily becomes okay for one reason or another. Maybe it’s because of the people I work with. The CA-EMA Department in UPIS is full of teachers who have much to share, be it teaching tips, their own experiences with the students and just about everything under the sun, outrageous stories and, happily, food ☺ And then there are my students. I handle 2 Grade 8 classes: 8-Butterfly and 8-Firefly. The former I’ve handled since the 1st quarter and the latter only this 2nd quarter. Both classes can, on any given day, make things interesting. Even when there are students who could be a handful and I end up giving a lecture on manners, the same students could get a laugh out of me on stressful days, making me grateful for their sense of humor.

Because of my place in UPIS, I can’t find a single low point. A low point for me would be a time when I really wanted to give up teaching. I never really got to that, thankfully. This is probably because, as observed by my Cooperating Teacher, I am infinitely patient with my students. It doesn’t mean I don’t get angry with them. I have, on quite a few occasions, been hard on them for not behaving properly. But my annoyance could only last so long before we all go back to normal. I could only think of one incident when I was really angry with my class. 8-Butterfly was doing a Home Reading Requirement Activity, their last for the quarter. For some reason, they were overly excited that day and paid little or no attention to directions and reminders. The activity had been designed to synthesize the novel they read for the 1st quarter and to give their grades a needed boost. Their inattention annoyed me but I told myself these kids usually pull through when they need to so I let them continue the group activity while going around to remind them to do their work and of the time left. This didn’t really help because when the time to report came, most of the groups didn’t bother to settle down and listen to the reporter. If there is one thing that annoys me more than students not paying attention to me is when they ignore a classmate who volunteered to share information with the class. If the activity were an important part of the lesson, I would have pushed through with it. But since it was only a supplement, a bonus of sorts, and since they were showing me it was a bonus they didn’t deserve because of their behavior, I put a stop to the report and explained how, if they had cooperated, it would have helped them raise their grades. I wasn’t just firm in explaining it, I was angry. But I didn’t shout at them since I make it a point to treat them as grown-ups and not kids. I let them understand the consequence of their actions while the class sat unmoving in their seats, quiet for the first time since the beginning of the lesson. I collected whatever outputs they had and dismissed them. Whenever they saw me after that, they would ask if I’m still mad at them. That went on for a few days, even though the class went back to normal, albeit they became a better-behaved group after the incident. I was pleased with the result and with their conscious effort to do better and to behave well. In fact, it paved the way for a smooth opening of the 2nd quarter and, as a result, I couldn’t really consider the incident a low point.

As for my highest point in UPIS, there are so many I could think of. Each day brings a new and, for me, exciting event. Even if it’s just an ordinary class with my 2 sections, I enjoy myself immensely. Like any high school class, they are full of energetic, mischievous students who, more often than not, just need a topic interesting enough to motivate them. Finding these topics is a challenge I enjoy and teaching Butterfly and Firefly has given me every reason to continue teaching and motivating students. It warms my heart to see their enthusiasm for activities and to note the improvements in their performance since the start of the year. I have 2 students in one class who failed during the 1st quarter. The teachers in CA-EMA agree that they aren’t very bright. Hearing that made me determined to see how I could urge them to do well. My first idea was to introduce material they would find interesting to supplement the required readings in class. Giving them more action-packed reading selections for grammar caught their interest and encouraging them to do better yielded very good results. They may not be at the top of their class but they are doing much better and it makes me smile just to think of how much they’ve improved.

I also consider it a high point whenever I see my students participating enthusiastically or when they open up to me about other aspects of their life. In the same way a class could let their teacher feel they hate him or her, both my classes make me feel both welcome and very much a part of them. Even when the quiz I give them is difficult, they groan and say I’m not being fair but they do it with a grin. They also make me feel very appreciated because they always come to me when they need advice or help with something, whether it’s English or something they have to prepare for or even something that troubles them. It is my job to motivate my students and, in return, they do a great job of motivating me.

As if that wasn’t enough, I enjoy myself very much in CA-EMA. Even though it is, in some ways, lonely to be the only Student Teacher there, it gave me a chance to feel like one of the faculty because, just as I treat my students like grownups, they treat me like a real teacher who also has a lot to share with the classes I handle. They also involve me in whatever’s happening at the department or the school. Even though I’m just one of the many Student Teachers they’ll have, they made me feel very much a part of the department. CA-EMA is more of a family than a department and just about everyone, no matter how mature they may seem, how well they do their work or how high their position is in UPIS, is young at heart. This is probably why just about every Student Teacher who passed through CA-EMA claims to have enjoyed their stay there. I am no exception.

This is just a reminder for the people who haven't passed this homework for the 1st quarter. Pass it on Tuesday so I could give you a grade and raise your score just a little higher. Also, if you haven't passed any of the following, please give them to me on Tuesday:

* bluebook
* grammar module
* any seatwork/homework you weren't able to pass before
* formal theme
* update on whether or not you took your makeup quiz already

That's all for now. If you have any questions, just post it here. Good luck Butterfly & Firefly! :D

Despite a fever and the inevitable weight of practicum, I must say I'm very happy about a lot of things... most of them related to the fact that I'm happy with Japs. June 22 was his birthday and we have a lot to be thankful for. Not that we celebrated all day and all night (unfortunately, we don't have the luxury of time or a big budget) but we managed to celebrate the way we wanted to: with each other. Spending time with other people was great, and we loved the fact that even after a day of doing org stuff, we still had time for our "protocol" when going home:

★ walk around the Acad Oval, dinner & "drinks" at our favorite isaw place in SC
★ waiting for a Katipunan jeep where we cuddle and unintentionally ignore the people motioning for us to pass their fare to the driver...
★ ...then walking all the way to the other side of the Katipunan flyover to catch a jeep to Antipolo where we try not to elbow fellow passengers since he keeps tickling me and I keep squirming in my seat
★ there's also that feeling when our faces are so close together and the most natural thing is to move just a tiny bit closer

That's what I love most about going home with Japs. I know I'm safe as long as his arms are around me. And I know he's happy as long as he's with me.

*Happy birthday hero... I guarantee you, it could only get better every year ♥

Spur of the moment stuff usually makes the top of my "unforgettable" list... and now that definitely includes our wakeboarding in Calatagan trip. Exhausted and happy on our way back, Manila feels so far away at the moment :)

It's raining like anything outside. On nights like this, I would rather snuggle into bed, wrapped up in the thickest blanket I could find and either sleeping or reading. But tonight, I'm in the mood for neither despite a splitting headache. What I find soothing, oddly enough, is something I haven't done for quite a while: writing. As of the moment, 3 things interest/concern me. Some people might find it trivial since all 3 are personal matters... but I think writing about them would help me gain some perspective. Or at least while away the time on a rainy Saturday evening

1) I am an aunt. A real, my-older-brother-now-has-a-baby-boy aunt instead of always playing with my cousins' babies. Our little guy is named James Anthony after his grandfathers (which probably explained why daddy didn't grumble as much when he had to drive around Antipolo 3 times the day the baby was born) and though he's tiny, he's got a mighty roar. Chubby-cheeked and absolutely adorable, he already has us wrapped around his little finger. It's pathetic, really, the way we fuss over him, take pictures and videos and come up with all sorts of reasons to buy baby stuff he'll look even more adorable in. Excuses, excuses

2) It's back to school for me in 10 days, thanks to extension of registration in UP (take a bow, daily downpour and CRS) and the DOH advisory on A(H1N1) that asked schools to move the opening of classes at least a week. After just 2 days of enrollment and battling the rain, my parents refused to let me go out without "proper transportation" lest I catch whatever virus the wind blows my way. Needless to say, I'm not the healthiest person in the world and now, more than ever, that worries me. Practicum is just around the corner and if the rain doesn't let up soon, the English Department of UPIS is going to have one very sick student teacher. Possibly their only student teacher *shudders* Scary thought. On a lighter note, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. There's something about buying new school supplies, pens full of ink, the rustling of notebook paper and bags that are comfortably heavy when you swing them onto your shoulders. I'm excited and nervous and challenged to do my best. My 4 years in UP should have prepared me for this, should being the operative word. This semester, my last semester, I get to find out.

3) Speaking of last, the last thing on my mind (probably also one of the things that hang around so long in there it has its own zip code) is Japs. We won't be spending as much time together anymore since he'll be working and I'll be teaching/studying. A typical day for Japs would be: start of shift at 2am, ending at 11am, post-shift, then travel all the way home and fall into bed around 2pm, wake up anytime after 8pm and get ready for work. My day would start at 7am and *cross fingers* end at 6pm, after which I will either have dinner at school with friends or go straight home to work on my lesson plans and visual aids. Sure, we text and talk on the phone and we have Mondays and probably Tuesdays too... but it just isn't the same. I know I shouldn't dwell on the things that would make me sad and most of the time I don't. We're doing our best to make it work and it does because we're both doing something we feel we could excel in and we support each other just as much as we love each other. I'm really proud of what he's accomplished and how much he's grown since we both started out. But well, it's just that... I miss him. Our 18th monthsary is coming up and so is his birthday (wait and see!) so there's a lot to look forward to. Not only will we find time to celebrate, we'll make more of an effort to take care of each other even when we're apart. Right now it's raining and he's probably on his way to work. He knows I'm always worrying if he's okay... and I know he misses having me with him before his shift starts, just hanging out, singing and laughing during dinner; during breaks when we share a cup of coffee or a quick bite of chocolate then run around trying to tackle each other or just put our arms around each other, not minding the wide smiles on security's faces or our teams' teasing; and during the long commute home when it's his turn to sleep with his head on my shoulder, always holding me just a little tighter when I gently shake him awake and making me wish I didn't have to wake him so soon. Even then, Japs makes me feel safe.

Jury's still out on whether writing this all down is helping or not but it does make me feel better somehow. As if just seeing it all in black and white makes it easier to deal with, probably because I was able to put it all into words instead of just leaving it all up in the air. Whatever the explanation is, I'm sure I'll find out just as soon as I figure out what to do about it all

Well, goodbye for now. After a month of sleepless nights, I get to enjoy the rest of my summer at home. One would think I'd be devastated at having to leave this soon... or being terminated before the summer's up. But nope, optimist that I am, I can't help but shrug it off and look forward to the coming academic year with a smile

Just a quick summary of what I did the past 5 weeks I was here:

Week 1 - Foundations Training: Spent a week learning how to talk, what we were allowed to say and what we should never, under any circumstances, even whisper over the phone when making calls. Pretty much spent it fooling around with 40+ people who were hyper enough to chase each other around the training room, dance whenever our trainers put on music, and do our very best to get out of the Hall of Shame. Of course, there were quizzes and exams and assessments but we pretty much sailed through them. Very enjoyable

Week 2 - Product Training: Another unforgettable week. Had to sing in front of the class several times a day because I was a minute or two late coming in from break. So was Japs. Most memorable performance was Barbara Streisand and Bryan Adams' duet Finally Found Someone. Japs was dying to be Barbara while I struggled to make my voice as hoarse as Bryan Adams' (couldn't quite do it, though) Ended the week with our certification, which I passed with flying colors. Moved to Manulife because of said flying colors. Moved around quite a bit Saturday morning too to accommodate our trainer's and the team's, um, thirst. Very mind-numbing but thoroughly enjoyable Saturday

Week 3 - Product Training II: Product training again. Not as bad as it sounds since we got to have longer breaks and less pages to study. A smaller class size didn't bring down the noise level, though. I would have to say that my favorite part of working would always be product training. Even though we have a lot to cram into our heads, we were still in petiks mode. Happy happy

Week 4 - Academy Bay: Taking calls isn't as easy as I thought it would be but it was kind of fun. Kind of. The sad part about my A Bay was that I didn't make any sales. The ones I almost made were disconnected, but that's okay. The way things are going, Japs will make it big in sales and I get to reap the rewards *clap clap* but they don't have night differential so I'm sorry I won't be around to give him a quick massage or back rub when he gets tense or cradle his head on my shoulder on the way home because he's so tired. Wait. This can wait until later. So we (Renzie, Cha and I have our own and shared issues over this, of course) were basically booted out of Manulife and given back to Sears. I thought, since we were already certified, we would go straight to production. But...

Week 5 - Academy Bay II: We had to go through a Sears refresher and a 3-day A Bay instead of the usual 5. Honestly, I found this more than a little unfair because we would have less chances to make sales. Add the fact that we were only given 4 or 5 hours to dial instead of 8, the hours were most calls were only reschedules and that the leads we got were freaking ancient (not to mention the customers were growing increasingly irate) and it was a surefire way to get terminated. But 2 of us were lucky enough to get 1 sale and stay in the program. I'm really happy for them and I know they'll do really well. I'm also happy for myself because now this means I can study during the 1st semester. Practicum, here I come!

Okay, after everything, I don't regret applying and working at NCO despite the unsatisfactory end of my summer job. What really made me happy were the people I worked with. I came to appreciate my wavemates, even after we were all separated into different accounts. I especially loved our trainers. To Cricket and Rev, you guys are the best. I promise to come around for future unwinding sessions and to drop in every now and then

The only thing that makes me really sad is not being able to work with Japs anymore. I really loved working in the same place he does and I can say I was very happy here with him. Now, we're going to have to find a way to work it all out. He'll be working here and I'll be teaching. I'm going to miss hugging him the minute I arrive (he always comes to work before I do) and resting my head against his chest when I have a headache or when I'm sleepy. I'll miss him pulling me into 7 Eleven for a pre-shift meal. He pays, I prepare and we sit outside The Sandwich Guy and bite into our Spicy Chili con Carne smothered hotdogs. I'll miss him looking for me right after he makes a sale, chocolate prize in hand, and eager to give it to me. Most of all, I'll miss knowing he's just a few feet or a couple of floors away and I can see him anytime I want to

Well, no use getting sentimental. I'm pretty much satisfied with life at the moment (well, maybe except for the 30-45 day wait for my last pay cheque) and I plan to make the most of it... The most of Japs' and my quality time, the most of the time I get to spend with my family, and the most of the opportunities I'm going to take because of recent events.

Yup, life is good. At the moment, anyway. But, with any luck, I'm going to keep it that way

It was raining real hard the other day (thanks to a typhoon that blew this way). Unfortunately, the other day was also Business Casual Day at work. Even more unfortunate was the fact that the only outfit I had that remotely resembled Business Casual were white pants. Imagine commuting. During a typhoon. In white pants. WHITE. Keeping myself spatter-free was Mission Almost Impossible. Keeping myself from getting damp and dirty was most definitely a challenge.

But I somehow managed it... somehow meaning I did my best to stay underneath my umbrella (I'm probably one of the few people who manage to get wet even with an umbrella over my head) and get to work reasonably dry. Though the weather definitely didn't cooperate, public transportation sort of did (with the exception of the first vehicle I rode, which died out on me and the driver on the side of the road) and I stepped into the lobby looking only half-drowned.

Of course, the office is the only place (with the exception of practicum next sem and Formal Interviews and demo teachings) where I have to dress like a respectable, working adult. This is usually solved by slipping into a pair of heels and something that is neither frayed nor worn. Since I have to do this thrice a week, I discovered that wearing heels is no longer such a hardship (unless my officemates make me walk from The Fort to Guadalupe when I don't have extra slippers with me) provided I whip them off every now and then.

After signing my name at the 6th floor desk, I went back down to the ground floor to look for Japs. He usually hangs out at the 7 Eleven downstairs, just chilling until the shift starts. He could be usually found singing (not always softly) along with what's playing on the ipod and generally relaxing before getting down to business. I must say, even a typhoon can't wipe the smile off my face when I see Japs look in my direction. I walked over, careful not to trip, and sat down next to him with my elbows on the table and my chin in my hands. He moved just that much closer and made the very thought of coming to work in white pants during a typhoon oh so very worth it:

"Ang ganda mo."

Okay, so the entire point of this entry is how those three little words (in addition to the three little words he tells me everyday) made me feel all warm and tingly despite the weather. It was probably because only Japs could call me beautiful when most people would be asking me "Mahangin ba sa labas?" Or maybe he just has a thing for the windswept, recently drowned look. Whatever it is, I'm happy. He makes me happy.

I can't really ask for more than that ♥

Typical Tuesday at work:

*Class was rowdy (as usual) since Rev started with a game. Today, it was Jeopardy and I had to take off my jacket and kick off my heels to run to the front of the room to be able to answer. Our team made an impressive comeback after losing to groups 2 & 4 yesterday. Now Rev owes the entire class
*I'm beginning to regularly finish my lunch, which is a good thing since that means 1) the food is improving and 2) I'm more likely to stay awake during training. But that doesn't mean I don't start nodding off after 4 when things are starting to wind down. Sorry to everyone who had to hear me sing because that's the "punishment" for sleeping in class
*I'm beginning to get used to wearing heels (though that doesn't mean I don't have my trusty slippers with me so I won't have to wobble home)
*Got a 100% in the assessment and a thumbs up during script verification today. Going to have to keep studying if I want to keep it up! 3 more days of more-than-memorizing!
*The glitch with my ATM needs to be settled if I want to get paid by Friday. Grrrr. Please Lord, let Admin be kind and considerate enough not to make us suffer.
*Car stuffing in Papa Ken's car. How we all fit in there was truly amazing. So was my seat. It just goes to show how right "the more the merrier" is
*Lunch with Rech in Gateway. I missed hanging out with her. Friday morning brunch with her and Japs will be, without a doubt, fun

Going home with Japs, at least part of the way, is the best way to start/end the day. I love it when he's curious about a topic. Today it was Harry Potter and seeing him with that look on his face... so endearing. Even more endearing is how he dozed off on my shoulder and held my hand even while he was sleeping. Papa Gene's concern yesterday was also valid... but Japs seems to have reserved that particular thing for public transportation

Now I gotta get some sleep or I'm going to get my ass kicked later. Oh, and I need to look for my last "decent" outfit for the week. Gonna need more than a little luck with that!

Summer usually means having all the time in the world to have fun and enjoy yourself. I only got to do that for a few weeks because I was due to start work on the 13th of April. So I enjoyed my time out in the sun while I was still, technically, unemployed... and got a terrific tan/toasting It was worth it, though. Spending the day with much-missed friends was even more terrific

Getting to swim and enjoy myself before work started made the thought of a 6:00 am call time just a tiny bit more bearable. A very tiny bit. But there I was, wide awake at 3:00 am last Monday. We left the house at 4:30 (daddy would be dropping me off during morning shift) and got to The Fort site at 5:30. Japs came in 9 minutes after 6:00 am, thanks to the "early" opening of the MRT stations. We had an entire day of company policy and introducing ourselves along with free food and videoke and billiards (the rec room is more than equipped with ways to pass the time). As far as first days go, it wasn't bad. The only downside was going back to work at the same time the next day.

Tuesday, dark and early, I didn't get to have breakfast (choosing sleep over food) and had to bolt down a meal before the start of training. Tuesday was accent training. Accent training. Good God. All the ways I said I wasn't going to talk were taught that day. Not that it wasn't hilarious. It was... To the point that we were practicing the accent was past "class hours" and laughing ourselves silly over it. Our wave got more rowdy during the second day, probably because of the games Nikki, our trainer, had us play. The first game was naming and singing songs that used the things we learned that day (our group won that one) and the next was charades (which we also won). Our trainers call me Bruce Lee because that's what Nikki calls me. They were even amazed when it was my turn to act out the given movie in charades: Raiders of the Lost Ark. How in heaven's name was I supposed to do that? I tried, I really did, to act it out... which paid off because Japs got it. They even said we used the boyfriend-girlfriend connection. I say Japs just gets me. And to be honest, I was mostly looking at him while everyone was trying to guess the word. He really does get me ♥

Wednesday we switched trainers. Daika was our trainer for grammar and stuff and though my team didn't win that day (Japs' did though, because they're so great) it was still a fun day. People were already comfortable with everyone else and didn't need as long to jumpstart their systems. I can't say things were already routine, but we were already getting used to stuff. And we were enjoying ourselves more during 15-minute breaks downstairs listening to Papa Gene's crazy adventures, singing at the rec room or playing a few rounds of pool, pointing at lunch options and wondering what they would taste like, and grabbing quick cups of coffee or wondering when the next bio break would be.

Though I didn't get to go home right away everyday (complete medical, pictures for requirements and hanging out with people), the exhaustion didn't quite make the happy feeling go away. Thursday was US 101 and "Learning from the Master" day since I sat with Mark. What I learned became obvious right away when our trainer said vanity was her favorite sin and I said (supposedly under my breath to Mark but was somehow audible across the room) "What's the next one?" Indeed, the master has taught me well And how could I forget standing with Japs in Katipunan after passing by UP, imitating Daika's accent and hearing him laugh and say he's been hearing that accent for 8 hours already and there I was making it 9? What can I say? He has a great laugh... and the determination to do well Every time he asks a question during training, I could see how much he wants to get it right. I was so proud, and not at all surprised when he got 100% on his essay I just love looking at him when he's going over the things we learned... If he ever caught me, he would probably see me smiling ♥

I told myself not to get all worked up over the tests we had to take: accent, grammar, US 101 and a phone simulation. They were all okay. Nikki said my accent was good and I managed to make a sale during my phone simulation. What I really want to know is: does Sir James (HR Department Head) really want a vomit green calendar for his desk?

Friday was the last day of Foundations Training and we got to "backstab" our wavemates: write something on a sheet of paper taped to their backs and look at the ones taped to ours after everyone wrote on it. Mine mostly had the following written on it: talkative, friendly, cute, sweet, supportive, intelligent, cool, awesome, pretty, knowledgeable, sweetheart. There were also a few fun messages: Hope we could become more close (?), Use it wisely (Master), Explore the dark side of life (?), Best singer... when is your concert? (Tess), Take care 'cause your Japs loves you a lot (?)

Speaking of my Japs loving me a lot, I couldn't be more thankful to Japs yesterday. It was, of course, our monthsary, and just seeing him in the lobby first thing in the morning was a great way to start the day. But more than that, he really is my hero... okay, I'm getting all teary-eyed just thinking about it. During our 1st 15-minute break, we were downstairs, hanging out with our wavemates who wanted to get out of the cold and were smoking. While we were standing there, I suddenly felt my shoulders and back tense up. Then the pain made its way to my chest and I had trouble breathing. Heartburn. Japs took one look at me and made me sit down. I honestly didn't want to go to the clinic because we had a quiz coming up. But he helped me up and took me to the clinic. He held me gently, as though I could break anytime. And all I could remember thinking was thank God he was there over and over...

He led me inside the clinic and told the nurse what was wrong. When she told me to get in bed and rest for a while, he helped me up and took me to the sleeping area, made sure I had my shoes off and was comfortably warm and stayed with me until I could sleep. Of course, our trainers were also there and they were joking around and saying I was out of the program because I was sick and couldn't take the quiz. Believe it or not, that made me feel better too

While I was sleeping, I remember feeling the pain go away and suddenly felt warm and safe. When I woke up, the nurse handed me my reviewer and said Japs came back in to give it to me. I went back to the Training Room and there he was. He said he did go back but I was still asleep, so he just left my reviewer so I could study. He meant to write down I love you and that he came to see me right after taking the quiz. What really warmed my heart was knowing he was there even though I was asleep... and that he really does care *sigh* Anytime the going gets tough, I just have to remember that. It's something I can't ever take for granted ♥

Happy news for all of us: WE PASSED! Our entire wave's going to product training! Next week is going to be a whole new program and I hope we could still be as rowdy. I also hope I'm assigned to the same account as the people I made friends with this week. And the best part is: no more 6:00 am call time! 2 words: night shift. I'm going to have to start commuting, though. Daddy can only drop me off in the morning so it's about time I learned to get to NCO on my own. I'm pretty sure I can manage to do that

Here's to a whole new week of work and happiness!

After every semester, it’s almost imperative for me to write about the sem that was and try to see 1) the good 2) the bad and 3) the ugly. The previous sem was bursting with all three. To anybody lumped into a category they think they don’t belong to, tough luck. Or maybe not. You’re there for a reason and I’m not the only one who knows it.

So. Being the I-don’t-care-about-acads person that I am (which means I secretly worry about it until I start nagging other people who assure me it’s okay even when I insist that it’s not), I’ll start with the 4 (yes, FOUR) classes I had this sem:

a) CL 30 – What’s not to love about CL 30? To all my classmates, who spent every Tuesday and Thursday in PH 315, gave their reports, submitted their papers and participated in whatever activity needed participation, I salute you. We all got through it alive… We just need to wait for the fateful day Ma’am uploads our grades. Whatever you might be (id, ego, superego), you deserve to pass. Lesson learned: Hell is other people. We all know how true that is.
b) J 192 – I can’t even begin to tell you how nervous I am about J 192. I got two words for you: Yvonne Chua. Scary right? And the best professor I’ve had in CMC. You can’t get any scarier than that.
c) J 103 – Opinion writing was great. I really looked forward to Thursdays, blogging every night and going over a piece in class. But some things are just unavoidable, like being late because I had to bring my sister to school, not being able to blog because our DSL’s on the blink and waking up and realizing my alarm didn’t go off. Of course, there were also a few things I should have done (blog, even with a topic change & study for the written exam). But more than anything, I loved the feeling of knowing what I had written was spot on. Seeing sir Nery’s 10/10 made my day. I wonder what I’ll see on CRS though…
d) Kas 1 – I may have minded climbing all the way to AS 4th floor quite a few times but I never minded spending a total of 3 hours up there every week for Kas 1. I love History, maybe not enough to shift to Social Studies but more than enough to see how important it is to know the past so we could learn from it. And most of all, I loved having sir Esquejo as a professor. If anyone could show Social Studies majors how to be an effective teacher, it would be him.

That’s it for academics. It may seem like I had it easy but trust me, I didn’t. I was extra hard on myself this semester, telling myself I had to do well because I only had 4 classes (supposed to be 5 but MST was playing hard-to-get). I was all, “Mahiya ka nga, 4 lang klase mo! Mas madami ka pang units nung una kang pumasok sa UP!”

Of course, a semester isn’t (thank God) entirely composed of academics. There’s also the org and the responsibilities attached to being a member. I will only say this once: there is only one org I really felt at home in, only one org I can’t leave in spite of everything because I love it and I believe in it completely. Whatever my shortcomings were, whatever my concerns and anxieties could be, there would never be a time when EDSOC would be nothing to me. Everything I learned in the org, I have tried to stand by and, in turn, share with others. My entire stay in UP has been defined by the values I learned in EDSOC. And despite what some people might believe, it is also here that I learned not to let go of what’s important. I am grateful to the org for everything it has given and taught and demanded and I am equally grateful to the people who were there for me when I really needed them. You all know who you are and I love you all for that.

Do I even want to talk about 2) the bad? Or should I just make it synonymous to 3) the ugly and be done with it? *sigh* Maybe this would be a lot more productive if I didn’t make a big thing about it, list it all down for everyone to see and judge and, in turn, make a big thing out of. That just isn’t my thing.

I think I’ll go with a “What I Learned List” instead. That’s more like it.


What I Learned

1. Never again
2. Know better
3. Take no chances
4. Be sure
5. Follow your instincts
6. Do what needs to be done
7. Take up sharp shooting


See? A lot more productive.


All in all, my 2nd semester was probably the one that taught me the most in UP. It also taught me quite a few things I didn’t care to learn and some I could have done without. But it also taught me to hold my own and stand my ground. And now it’s my turn to teach people a thing or two.


And all I can promise is that it will be the kind of lesson that lasts.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

There Are 0 Gaps in Your Knowledge

Where you have gaps in your knowledge: No Gaps! Where you don't have gaps in your knowledge: Philosophy Religion Economics Literature History Science Art

I guess this explains why I love Trivia Machine :D

I'm supposed to be finishing / starting / at-the-very-least-working-on my draft for J 103 opinion piece, having finished rewriting my DZRH interview notes. But instead, I'm listening to Melee on my ipod and happily writing about today.

Let us all bow our heads and come to terms with the fact that nothing is ever easy when so much is at stake, namely acads and the intense need to have more time if only it were possible.

After a great Wednesday, I hate Thursday...

We already had this conversation. Many times, I think. Well, one time too many because I honestly never thought something like this would be an issue. But I was wrong and you were wrong. And though I wish some things had never happened, there are still some things that, given everything that went down, won't change.

I can see how hard you're trying to make everything right. And for me, that makes all the difference. All I ask of you is to keep trying and keep wanting to do what's right for us both. We know what we want and what will make us happy.

You know I won't throw you away... but I have to know you won't give me a reason to. I already told you once when you said you don't deserve me: I deserve what we're going to be. And so do you.

If I remember right, I never asked you to apologize. I didn't have to. I know how much you want to prove yourself to me, to my family, to everyone. You're getting there. And so am I. You're not the only one with something to prove.

I'm not the only one who has to decide. We've already made our decision and it will stand for as long as we're together. There's no other way to go about it.

So don't ask if you're doing it right. As long as you're trying, and as long as you're here, the only decision that matters is the one we make together.

How do I even begin to describe my brother's wedding? After all the effort we put into making it possible, it seemed to me that the only thing left to do was enjoy the event. And enjoy it we did... or at least, Japs and I did. I am proud to say he made it through a Bruce Family event alive.

Friday Night

I only came to school for my Kas exam and to wait for Japs so we could go home together. It was Meet-The-Parents-For-Real night and Japs was, understandably, nervous. Still, it was nice having him with me on the long ride up Antipolo to my house. More than nice. I never mind having to commute as long as he's with me

He brought dessert (doughnuts) so we would have something sweet after dinner. Plus points for my mom, especially when he helped with a few household chores and kept telling me (in a low voice) not to complain when I'm given something to do. I think my mom saw that... and saw for herself that Japs knew how to handle my so-called attitude. I have to admit, I've never been the silent type. It must be quite a change for people not to hear my voice just when I seem to be getting started.

Then our other relatives came along, complete with cameras and questions about the upcoming wedding. Fun, fun! Well, it would have been more fun if the pictures Rica took weren't erased by Yuya, our enterprising flower girl. But still, it was nice having family around while Japs and I fiddled with the laptop (I had him practicing his bit for the wedding and I think my mom liked what she heard) ♫♫♫

Then we were off to the hotel but before we could get settled, me and the "younger generation" went to McDonald's (at 2:00am, mind you) to get our McDo fix. Of course, it was a really windy trip, and a bumpy one, what with 6 of us crammed into one tricycle plus the driver, meaning 7 people were squished together in a vehicle that was only meant to hold five. It was, nevertheless, exhilirating. Manong obviously had a thing for speed. And on our way home, we passed by daddy at 7Eleven at maybe 3am. Instead of shouting at us to get our asses back to the hotel, or looking pissed at us wandering the streets way past midnight, he did something very unexpected: he just waved at us and asked what color toothbrushes we wanted. That, my friends, is good parenting.

When we got back to the hotel, the door next to ours opened. Instead of an irate neighbor, my three cousins, Daniel, Eduard and Darrel, were there with their arms folded over their chests, looking for all the world like strict fathers. But I doubt if strict fathers often ask their daughters to come on in and watch One More Chance. It was, surprisingly, fun to watch. But I didn't really care for the ending. Too bad, they could have done a better job with the story. It was made even more fun by the people I watched it with :D


Saturday Morning

Fast forward to the wedding itself. Eventful because the priest was really fun and everyone was looking for everyone else and wondering what went on, was going on and will be going on. That's just how family is. Also introduced Japs to most of the people around (he was not-so-subtly threatened by Tita Luz) and the family, for the most part, seems to be okay with him. The next time he comes around will probably be Valentine's or my birthday. Guess we'll have to see how That goes.

The reception was... well, a bit of a disappointment. Why? Because I hardly got to eat (masters of ceremony rarely have that privilege) and quite a few things were out of order. But, and this is a very big but, there were some things that weren't in the plan that made me so happy I wished I wasn't in front of 170 people so I could start jumping and dancing for joy. If anyone was near enough to hear me say, "Wag ka sa'kin tumingin!" they probably would have noticed the smile on my face as I said it. I don't know if the photo/video people got that one on tape ;)

And of course, it being the 17th, some people got a little weepy (well, 2 people) and that made me think that maybe, just maybe, everything's going to be okay. It just might be a wonderful life after all ♥

Congratulations, kuya Teejay & ate Rhyza!

Henry: I’ve spent my whole life wanting something… and doing my very best not to find it. Never even going near the places it might be. And suddenly I got the goddamn thing practically chained around my neck.
Lucy: What are you talking about?
Henry: You. You. You… you’re the goddamn thing. I, I can’t describe you. I don’t write that kind of shit. You know the people who write books like novels and poems, you know those stupid little fucking novels with the hunky assholes on the cover? You know, what I’m talking about? You’re like princess shit.

From one of my favorite movies. Dedication has very good dialogue and the casting couldn't have been more perfect. I already did a review of this movie a couple of years ago, even watched it several times between then and now. There's something about Henry that just grabs me. Some people already have what they say they're not looking for... even when they don't know what to do with it just yet.

Second blog entry tonight. Considerably more cheerful because I just had a conversation with someone I haven't talked to for... hmm... 2 years? Wow. That's a long time, considering we both used to talk a lot before.

What I really like about the whole thing is how easy it was to talk to each other again. We lost touch because... well, I can't really remember. Then I lost my phone and we were both busy and there were so many things that had to be done, etc. Plans were made to meet up but frankly, they were doomed from the start. Still, this was a very nice surprise.

Let's just say he cheered me up just when I was feeling more than a little sad (though he probably didn't know that was exactly what he did) and he made me laugh with the things he used to say to get a reaction out of me. And I have to admit, I missed that.

Just in case you read this, don't be flattered. I didn't miss you. Not when you told me I'm 25 when it's obvious you're the who's more than a quarter century old

I should be doing my CL 30 paper right now. But really, I just feel so drained. There was something about today... well, quite a few things about today... that make it difficult for me to concentrate.

I guess you could say I'm not happy about some things and that all I want is to not have to worry anymore. Some would say what would be the sense in not having anything to mull over or think about? I would have to agree... but not entirely. Some things aren't meant to be thought about because they can only make you feel sad and incapable of happiness.

Strange words for someone usually said to be perky and happy. But right now, being happy and perky aren't all that possible. Something is bothering me. And frankly, I might not be able to deal with it if it is anything near what I fear it could be.